How do I find a girl who's into beards? I have one (a beard - not a girl), and I feel like most girls don't like them. Is that true?
-RJ
Emily's Take: The good news is that I know women that do find beards attractive but it is going to take all of my strength to not offer you advice that simply states "shave your beard." I fall into the category of women that do not like kissing men with beards. That being said, a beard is not usually a relationship deal breaker. If I'm into a guy, I'm going to be open to dating him whether or not he has a beard, a mustache, bleached hair or is going bald.
The state of your beard says a lot about you, the same way your haircut and clothes do when you first meet someone. If you keep your beard neatly trimmed and looking nice, it shows a woman that you care about your appearance and take pride in yourself. If you have an out of control looking beard, it makes you look sloppy and unconcerned – which can be a huge turn off.
I think you should be less worried about finding a woman that's into beards and more worried about finding a woman that's into you. Women know that appearances can change – clothes, hairstyles, hairlines, etc. These things aren't permanent, your personality is. Find a woman that likes your personality and your beard won't matter to her. Neither will your height, the fact that you don't put the toilet seat down or that your dirty laundry ends up on the floor about 16 inches from the laundry basket.
From your question I worry that you may use your beard as a conversational piece when you meet someone new. It would make sense because it is something that you're proud of and it is easy for you to talk about. If you find yourself bringing it up in order to keep a conversation going, I would stop doing that. I've met guys that do this.
Once, at a friend's birthday party, I was talking to a guy and he got to a point in the conversation where he wasn't sure what to say next so he went with his standby, "what do you think of my Hawaiian shirt" and our conversation became awkward. I did not like his shirt but I'm not one to judge a guy solely on his clothes and I gave him a chance. I was willing to get to know the personality behind the shirt. So we're talking and getting along really well and then he randomly brings to the forefront of our conversation, the one thing about his appearance that I didn't like. I felt obligated to say that his shirt was nice and ask follow-up questions about it. At that point, I was losing interest.
If you're talking to a woman and having a good time, the beard obviously isn't a deal breaker - so don't draw her attention to it. Let her get to know the real you without pointing out something she may not like initially. Don't focus her energy on the one part of your appearance that she might not love. Let her get intrigued enough to ask you about it, or intrigued enough with you that she doesn't care what's on your face and she just may learn to love it and you!
Good luck RJ...and be sure to ask your own question to our panel of women here!
