A woman I know has been engaged for 4 years to the father of her child. She is a bright, independent, professional. She spends time while at work, either talking to or going to lunch with me everyday, and keeps it from her fiancée. He and I do not work together but had crossed paths through related fields. Our relationship has been continuous for over a year and she knows I have feelings for her. She says nothing but continues the relationship. What is she doing?
-Anonymous
Emily's Take: She’s playing you. Here’s the first thing that I thought of - let’s say that she leaves her fiancé for you and you’re having a great relationship. A few months down the road, you learn that she talks to another guy friend a couple times a week. She tells you that it is nothing. Would you be able to trust her? I’m sure if her fiancée knows about you, that’s what she’s telling him that it is nothing but you called it a relationship. You deserve better than that.
She sounds like she can’t commit and wants both sides of the relationship coin. She likes that she has a stable home life for she and her child. She also likes the thrill that comes with flirting with other men outside the home. I think that’s probably because the longer you date someone, the less romance there seems to be. You give her the romance of new relationships, and he gives her the stability she craves. She wants it both and has sought it out in (at least) two men.
I don’t think she’s worth your time. You deserve to be with someone that is bright, independent, professional AND honest. You deserve someone that puts their entire heart into your relationship, not someone that splits time and plays with your emotions.
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