It is a fact that one of the best ways to pick up a respectable girl is with a puppy, and even though the dead of winter isn’t prime puppy season, it is a perfect time to think about buying a dog. But what exactly is your puppy saying about you?
Whether you’re thinking of adopting a furry friend or just want to see what your pooch is telling the world, get ready to have your mind blown - your dog says a lot more about you than you think he does.
Terrier, any kind = Smart.
Whenever I see a guy with a terrier, any kind, on the end of a leash, I think, “That guy is smart.” He probably has a nice, neat apartment and a college degree. Not a bad impression, but if you decide on a terrier be prepared for trouble - I think it’s because terriers are such smart, energetic little guys.
Shitzu/ Lhaso Apso/ Pomeranian = Taken or Not My Type.
I’m sorry to say it, guys, but a little fluffy dog tells me that you’re off-limits. Yeah, you look sensitive, but you look so sensitive that you’re probably already dating somebody! Lets face it - most available straight men won’t pick a little fluff-ball up from the humane society or the pet store.
Hint for fluff-ball fans: If you want to let the ladies know you’re available, sensitivity and all, you’ll have to be a little more forward- send the little guy into a group of girls! After they fall in love, run up and say something like, “Hulk! Hulk!” then smile and apologize, “Sorry. I hope he wasn’t bothering you…” You’re gonna have to make up for your doggie’s cuddliness with some humor and confidence. (Naming him after a mutant monster doesn’t hurt, either).
Lab, Collie/ Boxer/ Hound = Sporty and Outdoorsy.
Your dog tells me that you are someone who wants to play ball! You’re also social, friendly, and a little goofy. This impression is helped by an ever-present tennis ball and running shoes. Of course, if you’re ignoring your dog and looking for ladies instead, all charm is replaced by desperation.
Pit Bull = Bleeding Heart or Black Heart.
If you’re playing with it or even just smiling at it, I think you’re a really kind, socially conscious guy who adopted from the humane society. You’re probably green and you give to charities. Who doesn’t love a guy with heart?
But if you’re walking your pitbull on a length of chain, looking like you’re going to murder somebody, I think “that guy is compensating for something,” and I will steer clear of you. Not because I think your dog is mean, but because I think you’re insecure. Good luck getting a good girl in this get-up. Oh, and give your dog to someone that will treat that amazing animal properly.
Medium-sized Mutt = Easy-Going and Fun.
You’re low-maintenance, not overly concerned with image and aren’t afraid to be yourself. Girls love a confident guy who won’t have more toys than she has shoes, but sometimes your easy-going attitude can turn to sloppiness. Just pick up the apartment the first time you invite her over.
Bulldog = Trendy Spendthrift.
Bulldogs are all the thing now, so when I see you with your bulldog, I have visions of MTV, designer sunglasses, and smartphones. You like being in style and you don’t mind dropping a little cash to do it.
Basset Hound = Quirky.
You love novelties. You probably love Star Wars and toys from the 90’s. Your Basset is your constant gaming buddy and the girl for you might be found wearing a Back to the Future t-shirt.
Mini-Pinscher/ Boston Terrier/ Chihuahua = Attitude.
Like your dog, you’re a talker. And you talk big! These little dogs have huge attitudes, and if you’ve chosen one, I expect that you have a good, sharp sense of humor and an attitude to match your little big dog.
So who wants to go for a walk?
Laura is an author, wife, actress, and mother. She's also married to our Creative Director Eric.
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