Five Things You Shouldn't Say to Your Pregnant Wife
You are trying your best to make your pregnant wife happy. So why do you always seem to say the wrong thing? Here's a guide of some well-intentioned comments that may end up doing more harm than good. Even better, I've given you some always-acceptable replacements!
1) Don't say: "You don't even look pregnant!" She hasn't been able to button her pants for weeks. Months! I gained about ten pounds before somebody even said, "Oh! It looks like you're starting to show!" Your wife is scared that she won't look pregnant- she'll just look chubby.
Instead, say: "You look so cute." I will always remember the first time my husband spontaneously told me I looked cute when I was pregnant. A compliment is never out of line.
2) Don't say: "I hope it's a boy!" (or a girl!) Your wife really wants to make you happy. She wants you to be as excited as she is about this baby! And how crappy is it for her to stress about something she has no control over? You may have said, "...and I hope he's a pro basketball player and buys us a private island!" after that first part, but all she'll hear is that you want a boy.
Instead, say: "I just want both of you to be healthy." Even if she pushes you. Even if she begs to know which gender you want. You keep your poker face and say that her and the baby's health is the most important thing. After all, it is.
3) Don't say: "Are you ready for this?" Of course she's not ready! If there's one thing she's learned from all the baby books and websites and her friends, it's that she's not ready. Don't remind her.
Instead, say: "We can do this." Why is this so much better? Because it implies that you're there for her. And that's what she wants. No, she may not feel ready on her own, but the two of you can take on anything.
4) Don't say: "Why don't you talk to your friends/ mom/ sisters about this?" Sorry that you're hearing so much about stuff you never wanted to know, but that's just the way it goes. She'll be telling you about all kinds of gross medical details, baby furnishings, baby innovations, and child-raising techniques.
Instead, say: "Tell me more." Be as sympathetic and interactive as possible and settle in for the ride. Again- she just wants you to be on the same team. And you think this is bad? Just wait until you're discussing the contents of your little one's latest dirty diaper.
5) Don't say: "You look about ready to pop!" Not only is this the most crass, unappealing thing I've ever heard, it is reminding her that she is the size of a small whale. That is something she's well aware of. Let her joke about it - not you.
Instead, say: "I can't wait until the baby's here. Hope it's soon!" She does too! She doesn't want to waddle any longer than she has to. The more you can tell her that you're excited, the more confident she'll feel.
Good luck!
By Laura Lee Anderson, a mom-to-be.
Check out the other articles in this series here.
