Man Vs. Cube: How To Rate Your Office Day

Man Vs. Cube: How To Rate Your Office Day

The continuing series about life spent in a cubicle. In this episode, Jimmy B. looks at how a typical day in the office is spent, and what "rating" the moods around the cubicle usually reflect at different times of the day. Enjoy.

Morning Drive – More than likely, you left a little later than what would make your commute a comfortable one, but then again, what do you care? You know where you’re headed and your boss isn’t going to beat you into the office anyway. Here is the best quote I can pass along to you, “As long as you arrive before your superior, you AREN’T late”. So, take your time and relax like I do; listen to music and talk radio, soak it up and embrace the fact that you’re car hasn’t moved for 5 minutes – every second you sit in traffic is another second you aren’t sitting in your office – learn to love it.

Mood Rating – 7/10

8:30 am – I’m approaching my office building and anxiety begins to set in because I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m about to donate the next 9 hours of my life to one swivel chair and two feet of room on each side. The only thing improving this part of your day is the fact that it’s pretty much accepted universally that you have anywhere from 15 – 30 min. to screw around, get coffee, search the internet, just generally settle in, before there are any real expectations of you for the day.

Mood Rating – 6/10

9:30 am – Argh! It’s time to actually work – GULP – but I am on a caffeine high from the two Red Bulls and 3 cups of coffee that I’ve already put down. Okay, this is where I begin to really map out a strategy; I am going to bang out about 40% of what is expected of me before lunch in the next 25 minutes and then cruise until I absolutely have to do something again. Overall, my energy is high, I’m strangely motivated, and lunch really isn’t all that far away.

Mood Rating – 7/10

10:30 am – Okay, I’m starting to  think about my plans for lunch at this point. It’s also probably time to hit the Keurig and get that last boost of energy that takes me to break time. Unfortunately, I extend cruise control from the paragraph before and really put the pressure on myself to perform in the last hour before I get my break. The caffeine crash is occurring but at this point I’m running on adrenaline anyway. I pitter-patter through a few work related things that I needed to do and have myself set up for the home stretch. Did I mention that there is still a total of 7 hours left in this work day?

Mood Rating – 7.5/10

11:30 am - Lunch doesn’t start until 12:00 but too bad. I’ve already checked out mentally which means I won’t get everything that I needed to get done for this morning finished, but whatever, I’ll make up for it later. Besides, I’m one notch above comatose and STARVING.

Mood Rating – 8/10

12:00 pm – I won’t even waste my time typing anything, you know how I feel about this point in the day. PURE JOY!

Mood Rating – *10/10*

1:00 pm – Lunch has just ended and it’s back to the office I go. I’m starting to realize that this morning only killed 3 ½ hours, which means I’ve got to put down 4 ½ more working hours before its acceptable to even think about leaving. I kick myself everyday at this point for not going for a later lunch that would have shortened my afternoon. Oh yeah, remember settling in at 8:30 am? Yep, you get to do that all over again – Bonus.

Mood Rating – 4/10

2:00 pm – Energy is all but gone at this point. There is literally nothing to look forward to because lunch is over and I’m still light-years away from even thinking about going home. It’s at this point every day that I wonder how I am going to make it until it’s time to leave. I’ve exhausted all of my websites, twitter is slow, and my motivation has been completely soaked up by lunch. Might as well suck it up and do some of my work, maybe it will make the time pass.

Mood Rating – 1/10

3:00 pm – There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Suddenly I’ve got hope as I can almost see that my day is going to be complete. I mean seriously, 4 o’clock is practically within reaching distance. Not so fast, sadly for us there is still 60 minutes in an hour and every one of those has to pass before I can get to what some may consider the home stretch. Relax and put that hard hat back on, you honestly aren’t even close yet.

Mood Rating – 3/10

4:00 pm – There is light at the end of the tunnel, I am less than 2 hours away from heading home and leaving this day in the dust. My focus at this point is on one thing; Will my boss’s door be closed at 5:30, which will allow me to leave without being accused of “not looking at this as a career” for not staying an extra 2 hours every night to dick around even more. Pins and needles… please let that door be shut.

Mood Rating – 4.5/10

5:30 pm – Here it is, I’ve made it, the day is officially over. Or is it? I just mentioned the expectation baby boomer managers have that you stay longer than the time you are supposed to leave. Yes, that is a very real expectation of theirs, and it’s not that it’s completely unfounded. If you love what you do and your so immersed in your work that you just blow through time and keep banging away, then congratulations you have a career. But, if you’re like 95% of us and literally trying to survive every minute of the day, then screw your boss because you won’t be here long anyway. Head home, enjoy your night, drink by yourself and watch the game that will most make you forget about work. Then wake up and do it all again.

About The Author
Jimmy Blundo
Jimmy Blundo
Jimmy is a former child actor whose home movies you've never seen.

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