Chester Cheetah Is At War With Pablo Escobar

Chester Cheetah Is At War With Pablo Escobar

By Pat Dininny News

Someone please restrain Ray for this one. If you don’t know, the Stray Monkey President is overcoming a severe Mt. Dew addiction.

As if Mexico wasn’t dangerous enough, now they have attacked PepsiCo. Yes Ray, Pepsi - the same people who make your beloved Mt. Dew. Recently, gunmen attacked and set fire to five warehouses that Pepsi and a subsidiary use in the western Mexican states because the cartels believe that their delivery trucks are being used as surveillance against them. Also, the cartel calls themselves the Knights Templar. You can’t make this stuff up, folks. Either way kids Mexico is dangerous, and Chester Cheetah is now at war with Pablo Escobar.

From the article:

Alejandro Hope, a security analyst and former official for CISEN (Mexico’s equivalent to the CIA), suggested to the AP that the Knights Templar “have to be more aggressive in their use of extortion and alternative sources [of income] than practically any other cartel, except the Zetas,” he said. Based in land-locked Michoacán, the Knights Templar is cut off from the lucrative drug-trafficking routes along Mexico’s western and eastern coastlines, so its operatives seek easy money elsewhere. 

Awww…now I feel bad for the cartel, since they are cut off from the lucrative drug trafficking. Poor cartel.

[Source - Wired]

About the Author

Pat Dininny

Pat Dininny

Pat is our resident comic book guy, news archiver, and is occasionally offensive. We apologize in advance.

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