Hines Ward Signs With The Baltimore Ravens

Hines Ward Signs With The Baltimore Ravens

By Ray Abel Spoofs

After 14 seasons with the Pittsburgh Steelers, Wide Receiver Hines Ward was released on Wednesday. It didn’t take him long to find a home though, as the 4 time Pro Bowler signed with the rival Baltimore Ravens with an incentive laden 3 year, $9 million contract.

“This isn’t how I wanted this chapter of my career to end. I did everything in my power to remain a Steeler and finish what I started here 14 years ago. I viciously tried to block this release like I have viciously blocked the Ravens for so many years” Ward joked, “but now I guess I’ll be viciously blocking for the Ravens.” After some reflection he continued, “let’s be honest, most of the Steeer Nation is just upset because they have to buy a new jersey.”

The New York Jets were considering making an offer to Ward, but decided against it when they realized they may have a quarterback controversy on their hands if they signed the former Georgia Bulldogs QB. Shockingly, the retirement village that is the Minnesota Vikings did not make an offer.

He ended his Steelers career holding team records for receptions, receiving yards, and receiving touchdowns. Ward was also the last active Steeler on the roster to play in Three Rivers Stadium, and the first Steelers player to have a stadium named after him.

Team president Art Rooney II didn’t have much to say after hearing the news, but he did say that he was sad to see him go to the Ravens and that “Pittsburgh Steeler football may not be the same without him, but his smile was pretty creepy anyway.”

Don’t be weary Steeler fans. At least it’s not the last time you’ll see him play at Heinz Field - there’s always Batman:

Hines Ward In Batman

Stray Monkey Spoof

About the Author

Ray Abel

Ray Abel

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Ray is the founder of Stray Monkey, and as a shameless plug he wants to remind you to check out the Research the News podcast.

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