Facebook f8 Conference Recap


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f8 is the conference for developers and entrepreneurs who are involved with Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg gives the keynote, and then talks about what new stuff is coming down the pipeline for Facebook. Bro Council is checking out the updates for you so you can read the highlights and not be bored like we are. Here we go:

Zuckerberg Is On Stage

  • Facebook had a half a billion users in a single day last week - first time ever
  • Mark Zuckerberg is really awkward speaking
    • Probably needs to study more
    • He also reads a teleprompter like Jimmy Fallon did on SNL - way too much
  • Facebook Timeline is introduced
    • People clapped for no reason - there was just the name on the screen
    • You can check your life by year
    • Includes apps. Now everyone can see your Words With Friends Achievements!
  • Zuckerberg is very pleased with himself
    • Says he was a cute baby
    • Explains Timeline
    • He makes a bad joke about another baby picture, laughs awkwardly to himself
    • He makes a bad joke about a picture of his dog, laughs awkwardly to himself
  • Facebook just got a whole lot creepier
    • Now people can see what you had for dinner each night
    • Also, where you have been and when in your entire life
    • Big life changes, think "hey, girl I'm interested in - here's when and to who I was engaged before you!"
    • Shows a picture of him and Priscilla, apparently little Zuck has a girlfriend
    • Should look the same on mobile devices as the desktop
  • Timeline actually seems pretty cool
    • People will complain at first, and then embrace it
    • Then Facebook will add something new and the cycle will repeat
  • Shows video about Timeline
    • Must be by the same people who do the Google commercials

Zuckerberg Drinks A Gatorade - Talks About Music

  • He's very proud of Timeline, and then laughs awkwardly
  • Tells us that before today there was no socially acceptable way of expressing un-important stuff (yeah, I misquoted him, but that'swhat he was saying)
  • Now apps won't need to ask permission to post to your wall. Awesome. More Farmville posts in my feed? Just what I wanted
  • Spotify is now integrated - you can share your love of crappy music with your friends!
  • Spotify's CEO is from Sweden - what's up Sweden?
  • Video's are integrated too via Netflix
    • Now, even more ways to make fun of your friends - you can see what videos they watch too
    • It's not allowed in the US yet because of privacy laws - don't worry, they're rescinding that privacy law in Congress (what??)

Games Are Up Next

  • Now you can view the words your friends play in Words With Friends - you'll be able to pick the cheater's out quick
  • That's pretty much all they have to say about that

Lifestyle Apps Are Being Discussed

  • The Nike app will track all of your jogging activity via GPS - make sure you don't add any stalkers to Facebook ladies!
  • Again, you can see everything you ate in the past year
  • Another video plays - it shows how you can see what people are cooking, and where they are jogging
  • Seriously...ladies, don't add stalkers to your Facebook. Man, this is weird.
  • Bret Taylor, Facebook CTO is up - sounds like a tool
    • He's talking about how to build a program for the new Facebook
  • Another guy is up, and he's rambling on about boxes and his dog
    • What is it with the dogs and Facebook execs?
  • He says that Timeline is yours to fill out - says "go make something awesome"

Zuckerberg Is Back

  • He's as awkward as ever
  • Says that the beta for Timeline starts today
  • He laughs awkwardly, again
  • Music and tv launch now too
  • He says that it's an honor to be involved in social networking
  • He'll see us at all at the next f8
  • DJ Khaled's "All I Do Is Win" plays - very subtle, Zuck

That's it! The end of it all. I had to sit through two hours of that. I hope it doesn't take you that long to read it. Before we go, check out a preview of what the Timeline will look like come September 30th (the launch date). I've got developer access, so here you go:


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About The Author
Instagram - https://instagram.com/rayabel
Ray is the founder of Stray Monkey, and as a shameless plug he wants to remind you to check out the Research the News podcast.