From A Woman's Perspective: The Perfect Man


(Editor's Note: In our continuing series "From A Girl's Perspective" we bring you an article from Valerie that talks about "the perfect man". She's a little sarcastic....enjoy.)

British clothing retailer Austin Reed recently conducted a poll of 2,000 women inquiring about the characteristics of “The Perfect Man.” Below is the list of the results along with my take on the traits.

  1. 6 feet tall - Exactly 6 feet tall?  And why do the British use feet for height but grams for weight? Pick a side United Kingdom! Pick a side.
  2. Toned and athletic - It will be difficult for him to find time to get to the gym as he is working to meet the remaining 28 qualifications on this list.
  3. Brown eyes - Thank you colored contact lenses.
  4. Short dark hair - Thank you "Just for Men" and a barber.
  5. Smart dress sense - See #8 below.
  6. Beer drinker - Is he allowed to drink anything else? And how much beer are we talking here?  
  7. Non-smoker - Alcoholic? Yes. Smoker? No.
  8. Wears smart jeans, shirt and a V-neck jumper - At all times. He sleeps in smart jeans, shirt, and a V-neck jumper. He works in smart jeans, shirt, and a V-neck jumper. He goes to the gym to get toned and athletic in smart jeans, shirt, and a V-neck jumper. When we get married he will be wearing smart jeans, shirt, and a V-neck jumper. Preferably smart jeans, shirt, and a V-neck jumper purchased at Austin Reed.  
  9. Gets ready in 17 minutes - And not a second more. I want him to be ready for anything in 17 minutes - or less. Skydiving, tightrope walking, a 3 month long trek in the Alps. 17 minutes is all he needs to put on his smart jeans, shirt, and a V-neck jumper.
  10. Stylish - Again, I think we already covered this with smart jeans, shirt, and a V-neck jumper.
  11. Wants a family - But not in a creepy kidnapper kind of way. He wants his own family...eventually.
  12. Earns £48,000 ($77,000) a year - If this recession has taught me anything it’s that I will be lucky to find a man with a job.  I would be impressed if he could keep a $77 balance his checking account.
  13. Loves shopping - Now we’re talking.  I actually hate shopping so I would like a man that loves to grocery shop.  
  14. Eats meat - Only meat? That makes grocery shopping much easier. There will always be only two items on the list: 1. Beer 2. Meat  
  15. Clean shaven - These women would not approve of Bro Council’s Beard of the Month.
  16. Smooth chest - See #15 above or substitute wax.
  17. Watches soaps - Ew. No. Washes with soap? Yes. Does “Watches soaps” mean something different in the UK?
  18. Enjoys watching football - Remember this is a British poll so they are actually referring to the kind you play with your feet.  
  19. Drives an Audi - Drives anything that he owns outright would be nice.
  20. Educated to degree level - Which degree?  
  21. Earns more than his other half - It’s pretty clear from my impressive writing here at Bro Council and on my blog that I am well on my way to becoming a multi-millionaire. It looks like his measly $77,000 is not going to cut it.
  22. Jokes around and has a laugh - “Has a laugh” as in “Did you see the 30 Rock live episode? It was such a laugh!” or as in, he laughs when something is funny.  Maybe there are men out there who have no laugh. That’s sad. They would not make my list of perfect men either.
  23. Sensitive when his wife/girlfriend is upset - If he does not have a laugh he would probably be pretty good at this.
  24. Says 'I love you' only when he means it - And always when he means it. To pizza, our new flat screen,, the guy who let him over in traffic...
  25. Admits it when he looks at other women - Unprompted. I just want him to come home from his day and tell me about all of the women he looked at. What he liked, did not like, who was the best, etc, etc.
  26. Has a driver's license - Nope. I just him to have an Audi but not be able to drive it.
  27. Can swim - Hopefully we will live near a river so he can swim to work since he can’t drive.
  28. Can ride a bike - Well that puts a lot more seven year olds back on the list.
  29. Can change a tire - On his Audi that he can’t drive? Or on his bike that he can?
  30. Calls mom regularly - Okay I admit, this is a good one.

So if there’s a man out there who meets my strict criteria of wardrobe, hygiene, and transportation, feel free to give me a call. Until then you can follow my worldwide adventures over at The Road Lots Traveled.

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