Man Points: The Bachelor Week Five

Man Points: The Bachelor Week Five

The continuing series commenting on ABC's The Bachelor from a man's point of view. Our own Matt Truck watches the show with his wife and awards points based on many factors, all of which test whether or not the act on the show is "Bro Council, Approved." Each positive "manly" act gets a +1, while points are deducted for things that aren't as flattering to your manhood.

We got back-to-back nights of The Bachelor to start the week. Four hours' worth. As I said in last week's column, the presence of flannel littered throughout the previews gave me high hopes that this show was going to man-up a little.

In the first episode, Sean takes the girls to the great northwestern state of Montana. In the picturesque shots that follow, Sean makes multiple references to his love of the outdoors (+1). Apparently this love shows itself partially through a wardrobe filled with flannel and thermal t-shirt combos. (+1).

Sean takes Lindsay on a helicopter tour of Glacier National Park then a mountain top picnic. Hey, I'm all for ease of transportation, but for all the love of outdoors talk, we can't even get a hiking date or at least hunting your own game for lunch? (-1).

On the group date, we get another competition. The women are split into teams, with the winning side getting to enjoy some Sean time. The competition consists of a wilderness relay race, including canoeing, hay carrying, tandem log sawing, milking a goat, and drinking the fruits of their labor. What man doesn't want a woman who can be a reliable log sawing partner? (+2).

Next up is the infamous two-on-one. It's like The Bachelor version of The Octagon: two women enter, one woman leaves. Jackie and Tierra get the nod. The day starts with some horseback riding (+2 for enduring that - I rode horseback once in Colorado and I don't think men's legs are meant to stretch that way.) In the evening portion, there is an incredibly awkward three person dinner. Mid-dinner, Sean leaves Jackie at the table to go talk with Tierra. Leaving a woman at the table alone is a serious no-no (-1). Sean, prior to sending Jackie home, admits to both women that he'd rather be somewhere else. Can't blame him for the honesty (+1).

At the cocktail party, Sean confronts multiple women about the house rumblings about Tierra. Sean calls out the women for claiming things without providing supporting evidence. (+1 for defending a lady's honor). Sean finishes the evening frustrated, but calms himself before the rose ceremony with a nice gazing at the pictures of the women on shelving. I'd rather have seen him use push-ups. (-1)

On the second night's episode, Sean takes the women on a trip to the Canadian Rockies. To make up for the lack of hiking last week, Sean walks amidst the wood debris by the water. Good recovery (+1).

Catherine gets the first one-on-one in Canada. Sean picks her up driving a gigantic snowbus (+1), but gets out wearing a blue onesie snowsuit (-1). They go for some child-like fun, playing in the snow on a glacier. One five second clip consists of somersaults, handstands, and snow angels (-1). In the evening, Sean takes Catherine to an ice castle for time by the fire. With the scenery this week and the Aston Martin last week, I'm certain Sean is trying to tell us about his favorite James Bond movie (+2).

The group date starts with canoeing across Lake Louise. Sean paddles one of the boats himself with a girl in it, stating simply "Let me be a man". Will do, Sean, will do. (+1) When they get to the other side, Sean tells the women that they are doing the Polar Bear Plunge. For those of you who are unsure, this means submerging yourself in a frozen lake. I'm not even man enough to look up where these events are in my area. (+3). After they make the plunge, the women run out and wrap up in space blankets and towels. Sean wears shorts. Just another day at the office, I guess. (+2).

Desiree gets the second one-on-one. They rappel down a rock face to get to their picnic. Desiree is afraid of heights, but she powers through. Sean stops for a smooch midway down to make her relax (+1). Sean treats the activity like it is walking down a flight of steps, not even bothering to tie his boot laces. (+1). In the picnic portion, Sean and Desiree do some impromptu tree climbing. Nothing says digestion like lat work. (+2).

The cocktail party was pretty uneventful, but I feel compelled to award Sean for showing up wearing a three piece suit. To quote Uncle Drew, these "youngbloods" just don't know what class is. (+1).

Week Total: +18. Season Total: +56

Check Out The Previous Weeks Here:

Week One - Week Two - Week Three - Week Four

Pin It
About The Author
Matt Truck
Matt Truck
Matt Truck is our resident expert on the NBA, R&B, and is one half of a dynamic-duo podcasting crew.